


Shattered

by hulkwidownikki



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 07:10:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3887014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hulkwidownikki/pseuds/hulkwidownikki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha let her guard down for the first time and now she is regretting the decision. Angsty Black Widow, references to AOU and past Hulk Widow, One Shot for now could possibly change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shattered

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Hulk Widow fanfic so go easy on me guys. I have been shipping them a lot more since I saw AOU last week. I'm planning this as of now as a one shot but that could change if I get positive feed back. The inspiration for this was the song Yesterday by Trading Yesterday.

She knew why he left and she felt like she couldn’t blame him. She had done the one thing she had promised she would never do. She fell in love with him. Months had past since she had last seen him, since she had kissed him and told him that she needed the green guy. She never got her goodbye. He got on the Quinjet and disappeared without so much as a explanation to anyone. Not that she needed that, she understood why. Just like her, he had red in his ledger, even more so now. 

“Nat?” Clint said as she looked up from her gaze. She was sitting on the couch of his farm house. She had to get away the Avengers and from tracking where he had gone. Staying with Clint and his family was the only escape she could find. 

“Hmm” she said knowing that she hadn’t been paying attention to anything he had been saying. She knew it had to be about the new addition that he was working on. 

“Do you think that a bay window would look good?” he asked knowing that she was in her thoughts again. 

“Yeah it would look great” she said as Clint sighed sitting next to her and putting his hand on hers. 

“Nat you can’t keep thinking about it, he’s gone for now and you gotta move forward” he said with his eyes pleading for her to pull herself together. This wasn’t like her, she was never this emotional especially in front of others. 

“You don’t think I know that?” she said defensively as she stood up from the couch and straightened out her black t-shirt smoothing it over her jeans. 

“Well you have been moping around here for 2 weeks now… Cap said you moped around there for months. Come on” he said as she just started to walk away. She couldn’t listen to everyone telling her now to feel about the situation. 

She walked upstairs to the guest room and shut the door behind her hoping that nobody would come in. It was behind closed doors that she fell apart, her head and heart in a battle with each other trying to justify his leaving and her long hidden emotions. She had been trained not to feel this way, to always hide her feelings because she was an assassin. The team was what made her realize that the world wasn’t as cold as she made it. 

Ever since the battle against Ultron and his leaving, she had learned she wasn’t so different than any other woman. That the Red Room hadn’t taken everything from her. She laid on the bed and let out a shaking sigh before feeling a single tear roll down her cheek which she quickly wiped away. 

“Nat?” Laura called from the other side of the locked door. Natasha sat up quickly and wiped her face. 

“Yes Laura?” she said as she got off of the bed and walked over to the door quickly unlocking it. 

“You got a letter” she said handing her the envelope and noticing the tear marks. She didn’t say anything, there wasn’t anything to say. She hugged her as Natasha tensed up before relaxing, hugging Laura back. 

“Dinner will be ready in about an hour” she said with a small smile before closing the door behind her. Natasha stared at the envelope in her hands, his scribbled writing on the front with no return address. She didn’t know if she was ready to hear what he had to say.   
Her hands trembled as she looked at the letter and deciding that she had to open it. She didn’t care what it said, she needed to know he was okay, that both him and the big guy were okay. She carefully opened the envelope and unfolded the letter already feeling tears welling up in her eyes. 

“Natasha” she read out loud, her voice shaking before continuing to read “I figured this would be the best place to reach you. I know that you usually go to Clint’s place to see the kids. There isn’t much I can say, you know why I left. I caused too much destruction and death for me to stay. My leaving is not because of you, if anything you kept me around longer than I should’ve been. I will be back someday, I don’t know when but I will find you. You are the first woman that both the big guy and I could agree on. You tamed him when I thought he couldn’t be tamed” she read feeling the tears rolling down her cheeks. 

“I’m sorry” she read without saying another word before dropping the letter on the floor and letting out a loud sob the memories flooding into her mind of the months they had together. The lullaby, this room, the battle…. 

She heard a key insert in the door and heard the door creak open. She felt Laura and Clint’s presence in the room even if her eyes were blurred with tears. 

“It’s okay” she heard Clint whisper as Laura picked the letter up off the floor. 

“I…” she started to say something before she was cut off by Laura. 

“You don’t have to explain… you loved him and he left” Laura said wrapping her arms around her and Clint doing the same. 

“I… I opened myself up” Natasha sobbed out as Clint sighed knowing that at this moment Dr. Bruce Banner needed to be punched in the face. 

“You did and he loved you… we could all tell. He didn’t do this to hurt you, he did this because…” Clint paused before sighing. Personally he thought it was selfish what Bruce did. How he left Natasha without a single word until this letter in his wife’s hands. 

“I loved him” she whispered trying to take a deep breath to calm herself down. This wasn’t what Natasha Romanov did, she didn’t cry, she didn’t let her guard down and probably would never again. 

Later that night, she listened to the rain fall frantically against the window. She was wide awake even though she probably should’ve been asleep. The letter laid on the nightstand where Laura had laid it after their attempts to calm her down. She stood by the window watching the rain and thinking about here he was at that moment. She still hadn’t finished the letter and didn’t know if she would be able to ever. One day she would have to face him, she didn’t know when that day would be but she knew more than anything that she wouldn’t let this pain show again.


End file.
